I Married My Best Friend

Yesterday I married my best friend. It was the most beautiful day rich with intimacy and love; family and friends; laughter and joy. We kept things really simple and focused our efforts on the details that really, really mattered to us. Among the most important is our commitment to each other and our family. Also the honest words we spoke to one another, the expression of music, and our closest friends. We feel so lucky to have stumbled upon each other at the exact right time and we feel so solid in our love and friendship. Our story is not just beginning and it is far from over, but this is certainly one of the sweetest chapters to write.

2020

This has been a hard year. 2020 has proven to be that way for everyone. For us, we have navigated job loss (mine), building a business (mine), virtual school (all four kids), and getting one kid settled in his first year of college. We continue to walk the delicate path of gender transition with one of our kids and learn how to be a better ally for her everyday. Like many people, we also feel pulled back by past events and traumas that occurred before we met which bring up anxiety and issues we have to work through again and again. It is unpleasant and painful and also necessary. Fortunately, we do all of this side by side, leaning into one another. We work hard to find a balance between work and play and model kindness, empathy, and love for our kids. 

Back to the Start

So, when we decided to have a much needed date night for the first time since March, like out in public, sitting outside and enjoying a meal, we decided to go to our very favorite place, Lona’s Lil Eats. This happens to be where Josh took me on our first date and we have managed to eat there several times a month for the last 4.5 years. They are only open for curbside take out, but have some lovely picnic tables outside. So, we ordered and enjoyed dinner al fresco as the sun went down. It was so nice and it felt like normal again.

As Josh was cleaning up the table, I was taking in the sights and sounds of the Fox Park neighborhood. I heard him behind me say that I had dropped something. When I turned around he was down on one knee with a beautiful ring in his hand. We had been talking about getting married and I thought we would just decide one day and that would be that. This was such a welcome, sweet surprise.

All You Need is Love

Before the ring, we had talked about taking a trip sometime and just getting married. But, I was torn. Family is important to me. My parents, my sisters, our kids…I wanted them all to be part of our special day, whenever that was going to be. I kept saying that I could elope, but Josh knew better. He kept insisting that I would regret not having a few really special people there. He was right.

Planning a wedding seems like a lot. But as it turns out, all you really need is love. Love comes in many forms. For us, love showed up as really, really great friends who lended their time and talent to our day. Also loving family members who always remember that we support, accept, and love each other no matter what. And perhaps, most importantly, love came to me in the form of an amazing man who accepts me and all that I bring to the table without exception or question. I married my best friend and I am so happy.

Things Fall Into Place

When you keep things simple, have great friends and family, as we did and do, things fall into place. My best friend is an amazing photographer and creative human being. Thanks to her, we have a beautiful collection of memories to cherish for the rest of our lives. Because of  Heidi, I will never forget the magic of this day. The light, the colors, the heart, soul, and love are all present in her photos. She is a gift.

Another great friend became ordained to marry us. She is a long time friend of Josh’s and a newer friend of mine. She put so much thought and intention behind every word she spoke. It was incredible and intimate and felt effortless.

We were on the receiving end of so much generosity and love yesterday. We had friends come and play soft, sweet music so we could have a first dance right after we said “I do”. And we were gifted an abundance of flowers and greens from a local home garden that we used to create bouquets for our daughters and niece, as well as decorate tables and the trellis that Josh made for our backdrop.

Making Magic

As the sun was setting, my Dad took my arm and walked me toward my love. As we walked we smiled through a few tears as we shared a moment where no words were really needed. I felt the warmth of Josh, our kids, our extended family and our friends as we spoke honest words and committed ourselves wholeheartedly and happily. It was pure magic the way I felt. The energy was incredible and it was honestly what every single person there needed. Connection, community, and love. I am so grateful.

Afterwards we gathered outdoors for a chilly picnic. We celebrated our union and were able to connect personally with everyone who was present with us. At one point I stepped back and took it all in. What I saw was resiliency, love, community, and healing. It was exactly what I had envisioned and everything I hoped for.

Moving Forward

All the challenges that 2020 has brought are still here. We are still dealing with a pandemic, still navigating virtual school and still feeling the challenges of all the uncertainty. And yet, we are better equipped to deal with it because we took time for gratitude, expressed love, looked toward our future with hope, and listened to our intuition that now was the perfect time to do it all.

Our little family needed a boost of goodness and connection. We got what we needed to fortify ourselves and now we continue on with renewed strength and happiness. I wish the same for you!

<3

Stephanie

Taking Care Of You Is Most Important

As we look toward the rest of this year, what would you like to focus on? Having an intentional plan for your next steps will ensure that you find success. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed or not, taking steps toward growth in happiness and well-being will serve you in more ways than you know. With the change in the seasons comes a surge in mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and we are already seeing an increase due to the pandemic. Taking care of you is most important.

I’d like to share a little more about me and what I do as an Anthropedia well-being coach. My mission and my passion is to work with women. Together, my clients and I are making great strides toward their own self acceptance and happiness. It’s really fulfilling to walk alongside these women as they experience this growth for themselves. Working with me as a coach can be part of your intentional plan for your mental health and help you realize that taking care of you is most important.

A‍bout Me

Professionally, I offer well-being coaching as well as lifestyle coaching for women who are looking to work on self-discovery and self-acceptance and would like to get a boost in the happiness, hope, and mental health department. Like my clients, I have my own story of struggle and growth that helps me to be relatable and empathetic for my clients. I know what it feels like to question my purpose and to feel out of control. And I know what it is like to be in a cycle of quiet shame and self deprecation to the point of exhaustion.

P‍art of what makes me good at my job is my own life experience. In my own experience, well-being coaching has been truly life changing. The practices I learned and have adopted for myself are a lifeline that I draw on daily that keep me afloat, even during chaos and my life has plenty of chaos! I observe and hear the same from my clients. Not only have my relationships with others improved, but my relationship with myself is more loving and kind.

My Mission

Working with women is a passion of mine. I absolutely love supporting other women who are hungry for more and looking for ways to take care of themselves in healthy ways. As a woman, I know how much it can be ingrained in us to put ourselves last and second guess our need for our own nourishment and growth. I am here to remind you that you matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important.

I am called to do this work by a deep desire to promote positive mental health practices so that we may all find some healing, a renewed sense of hope, and deeper satisfaction with life. I bring compassion, empathy, support, and understanding to the table each time I meet with one of my clients. After every session I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to connect and share in the tremendous growth these women experience. It is truly life changing and affirming.

T‍he Truth

What I know to be true is that if we aren’t intentional about where we are going, we are bound to get lost. If we spend the majority of our time doing what we believe everyone else wants us to do, we lose ourselves in the process. If we don’t take time to really get to know ourselves, we never really fully understand what makes us happy. This is no way to live. I want you to thrive, not just go through the motions.

Taking the time to prioritize getting to know yourself and really understand what drives you is so important. In order to do this, we have to create awareness around our habits, patterns, thoughts, and behaviors. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? What experiences have you had in your life that left you feeling a sense of lasting satisfaction?  These are all questions we ask and begin to answer in our first meeting together.

Growth in well-being and happiness is deep and contemplative work. And it is so worth it.

In her words

Don’t take my word for it. Here are what a few of my clients have to say about their experience working with me.

“Not only is Stephanie adept at coaching, she is also patient, kind, trustworthy, encouraging and fun to work with. I no longer feel like I am treading water; I feel confident that I am on the right path, more aware of myself and my surroundings and have an optimistic, almost giddy, outlook.”

“I can share that I have found wellbeing coaching profoundly impactful and more meaningful than coaching I have done in the past. It has helped my self discovery on a deeper level and given me ways in which to incorporate practices into my day that helps me heal, move forward and sets the stage for a more balanced and happy life. Steph has been a wonderful guide so far.”

“I have found this training to be life changing, It ended up helping me through one of the most difficult periods of my life, and it has resonated into all aspects of my relationship with myself and the people around me. I’m profoundly grateful.”

Looking Forward

I am soaked in gratitude for my clients and the way in which they have embraced themselves and walked with grace on the path forward in these uncertain, troubled times. I so look forward to hearing from you so that we can begin to discover who you are and what makes you happy. What I said earlier bears repeating. You matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important. Let’s start today.

<3 Stephanie

My Own Story

Hello! My name is Stephanie and this is my blog. Here I will share about all things related to Well-Being. What it is, why it’s important, how to get more of it, and why it might be lacking. I will share my own story of growth in well-being and what it has meant for my life as well as provide space for others to share their own stories. And perhaps most importantly, I will work hard to build a community of support for you as you navigate your own path to well-being, happiness, and health. My vision is to be among those who are seeking something greater and looking to live with more satisfaction, to shine a light on the path forward and walk alongside them as they come to know themselves better. Everyone’s journey looks a little different and I am honored and humbled to be part of it. Let’s begin with a little background on me.

A Brief History

I have two children, W age 18 and L age 16. Like most mothers raising kids, my life is a balancing act and I am constantly learning, often the hard way, about what not to do. Parenting for me has not been an exercise in real time positive reinforcement — that has come in a delayed fashion. It involves trust that my hard work modeling my own behaviors and my efforts to pour love, kindness, and goodness into them has helped shape them into empathetic, caring people. 

So much of my younger parenting days were spent in fight or flight mode largely because one of my children is on the autism spectrum. I dealt with inflexibility and tantrums on a daily basis. It was hard and humbling and often scary. I also dealt with incredible brilliance, creativity, and heart melting sweetness on a daily basis from the same kid. This made me want to be a better human every second of the day. I put my heart into loving both my kids and learning about what resources would be best for both of them. There was a lot of trial and error. Some days we celebrated great success, and some days were a total failure by 9:00am. I needed to learn how to take care of myself emotionally, mentally, and physically if I was going to keep up. More on that later.

Body Love

For me, taking care of my physical body is a no brainer. I discovered early on in my parenting journey that physical exertion gave me the release I needed to keep my temper in check and remain calm during extreme chaos. So I ran, walked, did yoga, martial arts, kickboxing, lifted weights, and eventually I landed on barre3. I also learned early on that in order to put out that much physical exertion I needed to fuel my body well. So, I researched and experimented. I found ways to fuel my body with a lot of fruits and vegetables.  Eventually I discovered that I feel best when I don’t eat a lot of gluten, and ultimately I landed on a vegan diet, which I still enjoy today.

This progression happened over about 15 years and I honestly feel better in my body now than I did in my 30’s. Taking care of my body is just one aspect of good health and well-being and I came to realize that in all my working out, sweating, stretching, smoothie making, and salad eating something was missing. I also needed to take care of myself mentally.

Mind Love

I got married when I was 25 years old. My gut knew at the time that it likely wouldn’t work out. I even had a panic attack when I put on my dress. At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on and I chalked it up to “nerves”. I wanted to be married and I wanted to have a family. So I held on tight to the relationship I was in because it was all that I had. Regret is not something I have because my marriage gave me two wonderful children and plenty of lessons about myself. I spent a lot of time trying to conform myself into someone I wasn’t and the relationship was damaging. The details are unnecessary, but I will say that my insides were screaming that this wasn’t a healthy situation and I ignored that voice. For years.

Instead of hearing that inner knowing, I listened to the negative voice inside my head. The one that told me I wasn’t good enough or worthy of the kind of love and relationship I had always dreamed about. That voice was absolutely wrong, but I didn’t have the strength or the skills to know how to silence it and find the truth. This was not good for my health. All the vegetables, fruit, and exercise in the world can’t fix that. In order to handle that I had to take a look at the hard, harsh reality of my life choices. And I had to learn to do it without condemning myself.

That was really hard. I read books, I went to seminars about mindset, I listened to podcasts, I went to Al-Anon, and I went to therapy. Eventually I found the strength to love myself enough to move on from my marriage and create a life for myself that included self love and self respect. I did it for me as much as I did it for my family. No one in our family was happy, and we all deserved better.

Soul Love

Throughout my time where I was working on my mindset I kept hearing about a Well-Being coach training through Anthropedia that sounded interesting. For several years I kept emailing back and forth with the director and could never quite commit. I wanted to experience the personal renaissance they were talking about.  Hadn’t I already experienced something like that? Perhaps, but I also knew there was more to be done. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Here I was living alone for the first time in 20 years. I had good habits around eating and taking care of my body. To help with mindset, I was journaling everyday and continuing to focus on positivity. I had also dipped my toe in the water of meditation, starting small at first and working my way into larger blocks of time.

What meditation did for my anxiety was incredible. I noticed that when I gave myself over to being still, I could actually hear myself clearly. I believe that is what led me to finally sink myself into the year long course in Well-Being and what gave me the push to become a coach. It was a culmination of years of searching for something greater than myself and born out of my lifelong desire to be of service to others. 

New Beginnings

During my period of self discovery, living alone, I was working on loving myself and being my own best companion. I watched a lot of movies and wrote a lot of songs. I worked on being ok with silence in my normally busy home during those periods of time my kids were away at their Dad’s. Those were lonely, hard moments sometimes.

One night I mustered up some bravery to drive to the city alone to hear some music. I knew I would know people once I got there, but the act of going alone was a big deal for me. Somehow, the person I have been looking for my whole life was there too. We talked, he asked me out on a date, and he has been my best friend, partner, companion, and love ever since. Together we have 4 children and my life truly feels complete. I recognize that the love I have now is the love my soul told me I could have so long ago. I needed to have faith in that truth before I could find it. The work I have done on myself and my own growth in well-being has made me a better partner to Josh, a better mom to our kids, a better friend, daughter, sister, and aunt. 

Knowing Myself

I continue to get to know myself better everyday. I have not reached the peak of well-being — no one living has. We keep climbing one step at a time, learning and growing as we climb. After many, many years of searching I have finally found something that combines all of my skills that I have collected throughout my life. Including my love for serving others and my passion to make a difference and do meaningful work. I hope that by sharing my own story of growth in well-being in my life, you are inspired to take the first or another step into your own story.

Everyone’s path to well-being is unique and the Anthropedia method of coaching may be a good fit for you. If you would like to learn more about how coaching can help you, I invite you to complete the contact form here and have a pre-session with me. During that session we will get to know each other better, talk specifically about the services I offer, and how they might help improve your overall well-being. 

I couldn’t be more excited to walk alongside you. 

<3,

Stephanie