Prioritize Rest
Winter time is a time of reflection and renewal. At least in the mid-west, it’s cold, the sky is grey on most days, and hibernation seems like a good idea. I can think of no better way to renew yourself than mindful, intentional rest. Rest is paramount for your well-being, yet most of us feel guilty for doing it. So, today, let us stop running ourselves ragged, spinning our wheels, and over functioning for everyone else and talk about how to prioritize rest.
Why prioritize rest?
Well, you deserve it for one thing. You work hard, you give all day long, and you are tired. Our bodies give warning signals to us all the time that we miss because we don’t slow down long enough to listen. Rest gives you the opportunity to check back in with your body and listen for it’s signals. When we prioritize rest we give the body what it needs to balance hormones, strengthen the immune system, and just generally clean up internally. Rest makes you less crabby, more productive, and it feels really good. Basic fact; humans need rest.
But, I have so much to do!
I know, I know, you have a list one mile long and you are trying to check things off that list. You value productivity. The thing is, when you are tired, you are more easily distracted by randomness that pull you off task. We have all been there – trying to stay focused and suddenly realizing you have spent the last hour mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. Now you are even more behind and feeling more exhausted than ever. This is a sign that you need to slow down, prioritize rest, and regroup. I promise you that productivity will increase when you give yourself time to rest.
What counts as rest?
There are a lot of ways to rest and they don’t always involve sleep. Yes, sleep is super important. It is recommended that adults ages 18-65 get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep every night. With our busy schedules and active brains, that can be really challenging. The fact that it is challenging does not take away from it’s importance. Setting yourself up for good sleep involves some behavior modification if we want to be successful. How we function during the day most certainly impacts our ability to sleep at night. Keep reading for some good tips for how to prioritize rest and set yourself up for good, restful sleep.
Wake up at the same time
Having a consistent time for waking up is super important. It helps the body maintain good circadian rhythm, which is important for so many body functions. When you practice waking at the same time every day, you will likely find that your body naturally adjusts over time and you will no longer need that alarm clock to wake you. For more a deeper dive on why waking at the same time each day is so beneficial, click here for a great article from verywell health.
Get good exercise
You might be thinking, wait, I thought we were talking about rest? We are. Regular exercise helps us to rest better. Your body needs movement each day. It is recommended that adults get 150 minutes every week of moderate intensity exercise. If you break that down into a daily habit, it really isn’t that much time, but it will make a huge difference in your ability to get good rest. Consider a brisk daily walk or, during winter, take a virtual class or attend one in a a local studio. Make sure to elevate your heart rate and follow up with some gentle stretches to soothe your mind and body.
Unplug from technology
We are all so connected through technology, yet we are very disconnected at the same time. So frequently, I hear people say they don’t have time for mindful breaks during the day because they have so much to do, yet, somehow they have time to post and scroll through social media on the regular. We all make choices – some of them are intentional and others are not. My suggestion here is that you be intentional about your technology use and put the same intention behind setting it down. Give your mind a break. What can you do during your break from tech?
Take a mindful mini break
Get grounded with 3-5 abdominal breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Track the breath as it comes in and as it goes out. Notice how it feels to breath and pay attention to where your thoughts go. Keep redirecting them back to the breath or a point on your body.
Do some gentle stretches. Roll out your yoga mat for a 5-10 minute flow. One of my favorite ways to get grounded in my breath and my body is to start with a few cat/cows. Connecting with my breath and movement. Then transition into childs pose with wide knees, big toes touching. Release my forehead to the floor and then add a gentle rocking back and forth with the head. Massaging into the forehead really gently. This stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and helps release hormones that have a calming effect on the body.
Take off your shoes and do a meditative walk. Slow yourself way down by inhaling as you lift one foot and exhale as you step it back down. Lift the other foot on an inhale, step it back down on an exhale. Continue like this for as long as you like.
Read a good book
There is nothing quite like grabbing a good old fashioned book made of paper, a warm cup of tea, and a cozy blanket and getting lost for a little while in the story. I don’t think I need to say anymore about this – it’s just so good!
Meditate
Setting aside anywhere from 10-30 minutes per day for meditation is such good rest for your mind and body. If this is a concept that freaks you out, know that it takes some practice just like anything else. Intention, practice, and the desire to do the thing is what is required if we want to learn anything new.
Open your senses
Light a yummy smelling candle, soothe your mind and body with essential oil infused lotion, give yourself a foot or neck massage, bake something delicious and pay attention to the process – how it feels, the sounds, smells, tastes, and sight of the finished product, bundle up and take a walk outdoors and take in everything around you. When we pay attention, we can use our senses to connect to the outdoors, which combats feelings of isolation and loneliness. When we feel more connected, we feel content and this also promotes good rest.
Wrap yourself up
How we choose to live during our waking hours most certainly impacts how well we sleep during the night. I’ve shared here about the importance of being intentional about scheduling, exercise, technology use, and mindfulness, and that doing these things will help you manage your stress level and set you up for good rest. Mostly it is about choosing rest – giving yourself permission to slow down, do less, and just be. You will see that you have time for everything that is truly important in your life and that prioritizing rest helps you enjoy what you choose to do even more.
<3 Stephanie
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Spending Time In Nature
The world is an unbelievably beautiful place. Mother nature is magnificent and giving and incredibly resilient. So, my friend, are you. But, sometimes I forget that about myself. You too? Spending time in nature renews my perspective and helps me see past my own self. It also calms anxiety and stress. In this way, I am able to see that I am part of a much greater whole and that elevates me.
In well-being coaching, we call these kinds of experiences self-transcendence. When we “get above” our petty struggles and worries, we are able to see more clearly the path forward. And we are able to see our own magnificence, generosity, and resiliency. This leads to a more peaceful, satisfying, happy life.
Today, I will give you some tips on how to get out of your head and into your body…outside! The best way out of anxious and overwhelming feelings is through the body. Movement, stretching, massage, acupressure, breath – these are all great ways to tune into and take care of your body. Spending time in nature is one of my personal favorites because it widens my gaze, allows me to take more in with my senses, and renews hope.
Why don’t we do it?
It is important to create some awareness around the obstacles that are present for us around taking care of ourselves. The most common things people say about why they don’t engage in outdoor activity or exercise are lack of time and lack of energy. Let’s explore this a little more.
Mindfulness creates time
How does mindfulness create time? Well, when we examine truthfully how we are spending our time we will more than likely see that much of our day is taken up by mindless activity. Scrolling through social media feeds, reading all the comments on an inflammatory post, reading and re-reading the news, and binge watching television just to name a few. When my clients take the time to really look at how they are spending their day, they find that they have a lot of time they didn’t know they had.
So, for the next few days, without trying to change anything about your current routine, pay attention to where your time is going. You can do this by spending a few minutes each evening and doing a retrospective awareness exercise on your day. Start by recalling what you did when you woke up and so on. Be honest about how much you engaged in activities that ended up being more of a time suck. Do you notice patterns? Anywhere that you could insert some time for mindful self care?
Fresh air gives us energy
When we are spending time in nature we awaken our senses. Fresh air in the lungs, a breeze on our face, sunshine on your skin, crisp smells in the air, birds chirping – this is activating. Especially when we are intentional about being aware. In other words, if you are spending time in nature with the intention of getting connected to your senses and the beauty that surrounds you, that is what you will do.
This can be done while walking, hiking, running, stretching, or simply sitting. Whatever you enjoy doing outdoors is up to you. By adding intention with your time spent you will find yourself energized, refreshed, with a more unified perspective.
Union with Nature
In well-being coaching, we utilize several meditations designed to calm the thoughts, tune into the body, and create awareness. One of them is called Union with Nature. For more on coaching and how you can get started, fill out the contact form to schedule a pre-session. It would be my honor to talk with you while you discover if this is right for you.
In the union with nature meditation, we focus on opening each of the five senses, slowly and with intention. This helps gives our mind a break from worry and puts us back in our body. During times of stress, many of us experience swirling thoughts that lead to feelings of anxiety. This typically shows up in our bodies in one or a combination of ways. Racing heartbeat, headache, fatigue, upset stomach, heaviness in the chest, restriction in the throat, etc. This is uncomfortable and exhausting.
If we don’t build some muscle memory around using the body to decrease these physical feelings we wind up stuck in our thoughts. If you have ever been in a heightened state of anxiety, you know you cannot think yourself out of it.
Get some fresh air
As prevention and in overwhelming moments, getting fresh air and breathing it in fully does wonders for the body and the mind. It is immediate relief for stress. It’s true that we don’t always have time for a long walk or a hike in the woods. But, we can typically squeeze out a few minutes to spend time in nature, get connected with our senses, and breathe fresh air.
If you have access to an outdoor space you can also engage in a meditative walk. This involves very slow steps as you breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. You can slowly become aware of what you feel, taste, smell, hear, and see as you do this. This is incredibly calming and it only takes a few minutes. We all have time for that.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
This is so important. Right now, mental illness like anxiety and depression are at an all time high. Every single person is susceptible to these feelings and they can quickly become overwhelming if we aren’t attentive. You cannot pour from an empty cup and we cannot rely on others to fill our cups for us. So, take intentional time for you, spend time in nature, and reach out to those you care about to check in.
Prioritizing your mental health makes it so you can be there for yourself and for those who need you. For more on how to do this and move forward in your life with a greater sense of well-being and happiness, reach out and let’s talk. I would love to get to know you and guide you along your path to well-being. You are magnificent, generous, and resilient, just like Mother Nature. Get outside and bask in that!
<3 Stephanie
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Taking Care Of You Is Most Important
As we look toward the rest of this year, what would you like to focus on? Having an intentional plan for your next steps will ensure that you find success. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed or not, taking steps toward growth in happiness and well-being will serve you in more ways than you know. With the change in the seasons comes a surge in mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and we are already seeing an increase due to the pandemic. Taking care of you is most important.
I’d like to share a little more about me and what I do as an Anthropedia well-being coach. My mission and my passion is to work with women. Together, my clients and I are making great strides toward their own self acceptance and happiness. It’s really fulfilling to walk alongside these women as they experience this growth for themselves. Working with me as a coach can be part of your intentional plan for your mental health and help you realize that taking care of you is most important.
About Me
Professionally, I offer well-being coaching as well as lifestyle coaching for women who are looking to work on self-discovery and self-acceptance and would like to get a boost in the happiness, hope, and mental health department. Like my clients, I have my own story of struggle and growth that helps me to be relatable and empathetic for my clients. I know what it feels like to question my purpose and to feel out of control. And I know what it is like to be in a cycle of quiet shame and self deprecation to the point of exhaustion.
Part of what makes me good at my job is my own life experience. In my own experience, well-being coaching has been truly life changing. The practices I learned and have adopted for myself are a lifeline that I draw on daily that keep me afloat, even during chaos and my life has plenty of chaos! I observe and hear the same from my clients. Not only have my relationships with others improved, but my relationship with myself is more loving and kind.
My Mission
Working with women is a passion of mine. I absolutely love supporting other women who are hungry for more and looking for ways to take care of themselves in healthy ways. As a woman, I know how much it can be ingrained in us to put ourselves last and second guess our need for our own nourishment and growth. I am here to remind you that you matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important.
I am called to do this work by a deep desire to promote positive mental health practices so that we may all find some healing, a renewed sense of hope, and deeper satisfaction with life. I bring compassion, empathy, support, and understanding to the table each time I meet with one of my clients. After every session I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to connect and share in the tremendous growth these women experience. It is truly life changing and affirming.
The Truth
What I know to be true is that if we aren’t intentional about where we are going, we are bound to get lost. If we spend the majority of our time doing what we believe everyone else wants us to do, we lose ourselves in the process. If we don’t take time to really get to know ourselves, we never really fully understand what makes us happy. This is no way to live. I want you to thrive, not just go through the motions.
Taking the time to prioritize getting to know yourself and really understand what drives you is so important. In order to do this, we have to create awareness around our habits, patterns, thoughts, and behaviors. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? What experiences have you had in your life that left you feeling a sense of lasting satisfaction? These are all questions we ask and begin to answer in our first meeting together.
Growth in well-being and happiness is deep and contemplative work. And it is so worth it.
In her words
Don’t take my word for it. Here are what a few of my clients have to say about their experience working with me.
“Not only is Stephanie adept at coaching, she is also patient, kind, trustworthy, encouraging and fun to work with. I no longer feel like I am treading water; I feel confident that I am on the right path, more aware of myself and my surroundings and have an optimistic, almost giddy, outlook.”
“I can share that I have found wellbeing coaching profoundly impactful and more meaningful than coaching I have done in the past. It has helped my self discovery on a deeper level and given me ways in which to incorporate practices into my day that helps me heal, move forward and sets the stage for a more balanced and happy life. Steph has been a wonderful guide so far.”
“I have found this training to be life changing, It ended up helping me through one of the most difficult periods of my life, and it has resonated into all aspects of my relationship with myself and the people around me. I’m profoundly grateful.”
Looking Forward
I am soaked in gratitude for my clients and the way in which they have embraced themselves and walked with grace on the path forward in these uncertain, troubled times. I so look forward to hearing from you so that we can begin to discover who you are and what makes you happy. What I said earlier bears repeating. You matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important. Let’s start today.
<3 Stephanie
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Now Is The Time To Work on You
I am inhaling love, exhaling fear, inhaling hope, exhaling worry and struggle, inhaling openness, exhaling self-doubt. This is a time of new beginnings and new normals, while we also grieve for what was once familiar. It is overwhelming at times, exciting at others. Some people are thriving with this new normal and others are barely surviving. Now is the time to work on you and to draw upon and cultivate new coping skills. Meditation is a useful practice as part of your growth in well-being and happiness as you navigate this uncertain time.
If you are a parent, you are now faced with homeschooling. If you work outside the home, you might be struggling with what is next for your career. Perhaps you’ve lost your job and are unsure of what is next. Maybe you are taking care of a loved one who is sick or struggling. Whatever the case, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And you can’t make good decisions with a stressed and chaotic mind.
So, now is the perfect time to work on you. To learn the fundamentals of mental health and well-being, to grow in awareness, to cultivate skills for managing stress and anxiety so that you feel more resilient and less overwhelmed. Doing this for yourself will better equip you to be there for others.
Where to Begin
You can start today with meditation. There are many apps available to help you get started. I love this one for getting calm before bed and this one for it’s variety of options in a multitude of situations. When you work with me as a well-being coach, I will teach you several meditations that you can use anytime, anywhere to calm anxiety, alleviate stress, and gather your energies.
Meditation Takes Practice
Just like anything else, in order to learn something new you must practice. I like to think of mediation as prevention for stress and anxiety. You are literally building muscle memory for yourself around getting calm. When you do this you are better equipped to use this coping skill in high stress moments. This is what it looks like to work on you. Making your mental health a priority starts with taking time for mental health prevention.
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of a cure.” Benjamin Franklin said that and his words ring true today. It is much easier to prevent getting sick than it is to get better. This applies to your mental health as well.
Coaching for Mental Health
Working with me as your well-being coach will help you to keep your mental health in focus. You will get to know yourself better as well as learn new skills for coping. All of this leads to greater feelings of happiness, well-being, and resiliency. It can be challenging to work on you and there is a certain amount of comfort that comes with not doing it alone. As your coach, it is my honor to walk alongside you as you do this work on yourself, cheering you on along the way.
Taking the Scenic Route
Well-being coaching is not a quick fix. It is deep and contemplative, much like meditation. But, the benefits are so worth it. This coaching methodology works and leads to lasting change and enhances your life with greater satisfaction. To learn more about coaching with me, complete this contact form to get started with a pre-session.
Mental health, just like physical health, is a lifelong journey. We are never done. We are always growing in awareness, learning and changing, but only if we are paying attention. Keep going, keep growing and keep your eyes open. This is how you will take in all the beauty that your life has to offer right now in this moment.
Your breath is always there for you and will guide you toward what you need in order to stay calm. All you have to do is take the time to work on you.
<3 Stephanie
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Letting Go Skills So You Can Feel Better
There is a common misconception that letting go means pushing away thoughts, feelings, and emotions and wearing a brave face. This fake it until you make it approach only gets you so far. It’s true that sometimes shifting your perspective takes the simplicity of smiling and attempting to be happy. But what about those times when that isn’t enough? If we are to really learn how to cultivate happiness and resilience we have to fill our tool box with letting go skills. These skills help with change. They are indispensable to those of us on a quest to live our best lives. In times of uncertainty these skills and tools will no doubt get a workout.
In order to start building our letting go skills, we must first understand what letting go means and how it helps us to grow. Once we are clear on that we will dive into best practices that you can implement now to begin your practice of letting go. Let’s get started.
What is letting go?
Letting go means to move through the struggle and emotion in order to get calm. It means to release the habit of blaming everyone else for our problems, and resisting the urge to argue and fight with the people around us and ourselves. Accepting reality, even when it doesn’t feel good, is an important part of building letting go skills. When we fight, blame, and struggle with others it creates resistance within us. This leads to inner struggle. If that struggle is too great and we don’t have adequate letting go skills we feel hopeless. Unfortunately, this cycle is on repeat for many people.
What can you do about it? First and foremost, stop judging your feelings. Acknowledge your own emotions, thoughts, and feelings with the same love you would for a friend. Changes are, you are the type of person who comforts a friend that is hurting readily. You likely don’t judge them and have a desire to help. Channel that same love and helpfulness toward yourself. This means noticing how you are feeling without judgement. This is tricky for a lot of people, but the first of many letting go skills we will discuss.
Practicing Self Acceptance
Most of us do not spend much time really understanding who we are and why we respond or react to things the way we do. We often create judgments about ourselves and use outdated habits to manage our feelings. This can look a lot like using numbing tactics just to get through something that feels uncomfortable. As you might suspect, this leads to that cycle of struggle that we touched on in the previous paragraph.
Working with a well-being coach helps you grow in awareness of yourself; who you are, your habits, and your personality so that you can work more specifically on the areas that need growth. This type of growth takes time and practice and will ultimately lead you in the direction of self acceptance and living happier more of the time. If you are interested in working one on one with me in developing letting go skills, click here to get started.
Set Goals
Most of us are familiar with the good feeling that comes when we set a goal and are successful in reaching it. This gives us a sense of accomplishment and sets us up for feeling hopeful. Taking action on a goal successfully requires us to be thoughtful about what we are trying to achieve. To create more hope in your life, try setting a series of small, attainable goals that you can work toward on a daily basis.
To begin, make a list of things you would like to do today. This is a familiar “to do” list. We have all made them and we know the disappointment that comes from not crossing everything off the list. For this list, the goal is to check everything off. So, with intention, make a list of things you know you can and would like to accomplish today. Put at least one thing on the list that is part of another larger goal. In order to choose that one thing we need to do some work on a larger goal or goals.
I suggest making another action list or two for longer term goals. These could be self care related, health related, anything you choose. To make these lists, write down all that you can think of to do in order to take action on, for example, self care. Meditation for 10 minutes, take a 30 minute walk, read a book for 30 minutes, take a bath, stretch for 15 minutes before bed, etc. Anything that falls into self care that you are not already doing should go on this list. Then, pick one of these things and commit fully to doing it.
At the end of the day, notice how you feel. More than likely, you feel accomplished and a little happier. This is hopeful. Keep doing this each day with intention and notice how your sense of hope grows.
Surrender Control
We cannot control everything. We try our best though, don’t we? Here is some hard truth that is worth writing down and posting where you can see it all the time.
The only thing you are in control of is you.
That’s it. The sooner you learn how to surrender to the idea that you cannot control other people or every circumstance or how people react to you or how people see you or the weather or anything else for that matter, the better. You don’t have to like the circumstances or the choices other people make or the weather, but you cannot control it. Your feelings are valid and it’s healthy to acknowledge them and feel them. Then, come back to the truth of what you can control and take action there.
Holding sand
There is so much freedom in this letting go skill of surrender. It frees you up to give thought space to things that you can control. It actually allows you to hold on to more. Here is what I mean by that. Imagine yourself on a sandy beach. Scoop up a big handful of dry, fine sand. Squeeze your hand into a fist. How much sand remains in your hand? Not much. Most of it spills out the sides. Now do it again, but this time leave your hand open like a cup for the sand. You are able to hold more with less effort. This is the art of letting go and being gentle.
You know that by holding on too tight sand will slip through the cracks and your hand will be tired. This same concept applies to our relationships with others as well as with ourselves. When we struggle with someone else because we are trying to get them to change or we feel like blaming them for how we are feeling, we become tense, stressed, and are holding on for dear life. The same is true when we struggle with something about ourselves we wish to change. Here is what you can do instead. Recognize your emotions, surrender the things you cannot control, and work on bringing yourself into a calm state by holding only what you know you can.
In doing this, you create a positive shift for yourself. This has a calming effect on the entire situation and actually gives the other person permission to do the same. This is the most important of all the letting go skills. It requires practice, and it won’t be perfect. Being aware and setting an intention to let go of struggle is the first step. When you find yourself in a challenging situation, remember the sand.
Easy Does It
When we are doing hard things it’s important to be reflective on the wins we experience. Doing this work of letting go is challenging and when we are successful it’s worth acknowledging, even celebrating. So, make sure that you are giving yourself plenty of positive feedback for your hard work. To remember to do this, try the following.
At the end of each day reflect on each aspect of your day; morning, mid-day, and evening. For each aspect of the day, write down at least one thing that you did really well. These can be things that moved you toward a goal, taking a pause instead of reacting, walking away from a struggle, resisting the urge to try and control something you can’t control, etc. Do this practice for several weeks. Doing this daily practice, strengthens the intention to keep going and helps us find the ease in the effort of letting go.
In addition, it is helpful to get into the habit of contributing to a daily gratitude journal. This works on keeping us hopeful. You can read more about how to do this here.
Give Grace and Permission
I will leave you today with one more recommendation. In his book, Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett, Ph.D., talks about the power of emotions and how understanding and growing your emotional intelligence is so important for well-being. Feeding yourself knowledge about how to understand your emotions and even get to the root cause of the emotion is important and another good tool in your letting go skills toolbox.
Reading this book alone does not create lasting change, but it will give you some great nuggets for growth. Most importantly, this book acts as a permission slip to feel all the feelings. Right now, we are all on a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs collectively. Let us be gentle with ourselves and each other and give grace freely.
<3
Stephanie
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