Taking Care Of You Is Most Important
As we look toward the rest of this year, what would you like to focus on? Having an intentional plan for your next steps will ensure that you find success. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed or not, taking steps toward growth in happiness and well-being will serve you in more ways than you know. With the change in the seasons comes a surge in mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and we are already seeing an increase due to the pandemic. Taking care of you is most important.
I’d like to share a little more about me and what I do as an Anthropedia well-being coach. My mission and my passion is to work with women. Together, my clients and I are making great strides toward their own self acceptance and happiness. It’s really fulfilling to walk alongside these women as they experience this growth for themselves. Working with me as a coach can be part of your intentional plan for your mental health and help you realize that taking care of you is most important.
About Me
Professionally, I offer well-being coaching as well as lifestyle coaching for women who are looking to work on self-discovery and self-acceptance and would like to get a boost in the happiness, hope, and mental health department. Like my clients, I have my own story of struggle and growth that helps me to be relatable and empathetic for my clients. I know what it feels like to question my purpose and to feel out of control. And I know what it is like to be in a cycle of quiet shame and self deprecation to the point of exhaustion.
Part of what makes me good at my job is my own life experience. In my own experience, well-being coaching has been truly life changing. The practices I learned and have adopted for myself are a lifeline that I draw on daily that keep me afloat, even during chaos and my life has plenty of chaos! I observe and hear the same from my clients. Not only have my relationships with others improved, but my relationship with myself is more loving and kind.
My Mission
Working with women is a passion of mine. I absolutely love supporting other women who are hungry for more and looking for ways to take care of themselves in healthy ways. As a woman, I know how much it can be ingrained in us to put ourselves last and second guess our need for our own nourishment and growth. I am here to remind you that you matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important.
I am called to do this work by a deep desire to promote positive mental health practices so that we may all find some healing, a renewed sense of hope, and deeper satisfaction with life. I bring compassion, empathy, support, and understanding to the table each time I meet with one of my clients. After every session I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to connect and share in the tremendous growth these women experience. It is truly life changing and affirming.
The Truth
What I know to be true is that if we aren’t intentional about where we are going, we are bound to get lost. If we spend the majority of our time doing what we believe everyone else wants us to do, we lose ourselves in the process. If we don’t take time to really get to know ourselves, we never really fully understand what makes us happy. This is no way to live. I want you to thrive, not just go through the motions.
Taking the time to prioritize getting to know yourself and really understand what drives you is so important. In order to do this, we have to create awareness around our habits, patterns, thoughts, and behaviors. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? What experiences have you had in your life that left you feeling a sense of lasting satisfaction? These are all questions we ask and begin to answer in our first meeting together.
Growth in well-being and happiness is deep and contemplative work. And it is so worth it.
In her words
Don’t take my word for it. Here are what a few of my clients have to say about their experience working with me.
“Not only is Stephanie adept at coaching, she is also patient, kind, trustworthy, encouraging and fun to work with. I no longer feel like I am treading water; I feel confident that I am on the right path, more aware of myself and my surroundings and have an optimistic, almost giddy, outlook.”
“I can share that I have found wellbeing coaching profoundly impactful and more meaningful than coaching I have done in the past. It has helped my self discovery on a deeper level and given me ways in which to incorporate practices into my day that helps me heal, move forward and sets the stage for a more balanced and happy life. Steph has been a wonderful guide so far.”
“I have found this training to be life changing, It ended up helping me through one of the most difficult periods of my life, and it has resonated into all aspects of my relationship with myself and the people around me. I’m profoundly grateful.”
Looking Forward
I am soaked in gratitude for my clients and the way in which they have embraced themselves and walked with grace on the path forward in these uncertain, troubled times. I so look forward to hearing from you so that we can begin to discover who you are and what makes you happy. What I said earlier bears repeating. You matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important. Let’s start today.
<3 Stephanie
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Letting Go Skills So You Can Feel Better
There is a common misconception that letting go means pushing away thoughts, feelings, and emotions and wearing a brave face. This fake it until you make it approach only gets you so far. It’s true that sometimes shifting your perspective takes the simplicity of smiling and attempting to be happy. But what about those times when that isn’t enough? If we are to really learn how to cultivate happiness and resilience we have to fill our tool box with letting go skills. These skills help with change. They are indispensable to those of us on a quest to live our best lives. In times of uncertainty these skills and tools will no doubt get a workout.
In order to start building our letting go skills, we must first understand what letting go means and how it helps us to grow. Once we are clear on that we will dive into best practices that you can implement now to begin your practice of letting go. Let’s get started.
What is letting go?
Letting go means to move through the struggle and emotion in order to get calm. It means to release the habit of blaming everyone else for our problems, and resisting the urge to argue and fight with the people around us and ourselves. Accepting reality, even when it doesn’t feel good, is an important part of building letting go skills. When we fight, blame, and struggle with others it creates resistance within us. This leads to inner struggle. If that struggle is too great and we don’t have adequate letting go skills we feel hopeless. Unfortunately, this cycle is on repeat for many people.
What can you do about it? First and foremost, stop judging your feelings. Acknowledge your own emotions, thoughts, and feelings with the same love you would for a friend. Changes are, you are the type of person who comforts a friend that is hurting readily. You likely don’t judge them and have a desire to help. Channel that same love and helpfulness toward yourself. This means noticing how you are feeling without judgement. This is tricky for a lot of people, but the first of many letting go skills we will discuss.
Practicing Self Acceptance
Most of us do not spend much time really understanding who we are and why we respond or react to things the way we do. We often create judgments about ourselves and use outdated habits to manage our feelings. This can look a lot like using numbing tactics just to get through something that feels uncomfortable. As you might suspect, this leads to that cycle of struggle that we touched on in the previous paragraph.
Working with a well-being coach helps you grow in awareness of yourself; who you are, your habits, and your personality so that you can work more specifically on the areas that need growth. This type of growth takes time and practice and will ultimately lead you in the direction of self acceptance and living happier more of the time. If you are interested in working one on one with me in developing letting go skills, click here to get started.
Set Goals
Most of us are familiar with the good feeling that comes when we set a goal and are successful in reaching it. This gives us a sense of accomplishment and sets us up for feeling hopeful. Taking action on a goal successfully requires us to be thoughtful about what we are trying to achieve. To create more hope in your life, try setting a series of small, attainable goals that you can work toward on a daily basis.
To begin, make a list of things you would like to do today. This is a familiar “to do” list. We have all made them and we know the disappointment that comes from not crossing everything off the list. For this list, the goal is to check everything off. So, with intention, make a list of things you know you can and would like to accomplish today. Put at least one thing on the list that is part of another larger goal. In order to choose that one thing we need to do some work on a larger goal or goals.
I suggest making another action list or two for longer term goals. These could be self care related, health related, anything you choose. To make these lists, write down all that you can think of to do in order to take action on, for example, self care. Meditation for 10 minutes, take a 30 minute walk, read a book for 30 minutes, take a bath, stretch for 15 minutes before bed, etc. Anything that falls into self care that you are not already doing should go on this list. Then, pick one of these things and commit fully to doing it.
At the end of the day, notice how you feel. More than likely, you feel accomplished and a little happier. This is hopeful. Keep doing this each day with intention and notice how your sense of hope grows.
Surrender Control
We cannot control everything. We try our best though, don’t we? Here is some hard truth that is worth writing down and posting where you can see it all the time.
The only thing you are in control of is you.
That’s it. The sooner you learn how to surrender to the idea that you cannot control other people or every circumstance or how people react to you or how people see you or the weather or anything else for that matter, the better. You don’t have to like the circumstances or the choices other people make or the weather, but you cannot control it. Your feelings are valid and it’s healthy to acknowledge them and feel them. Then, come back to the truth of what you can control and take action there.
Holding sand
There is so much freedom in this letting go skill of surrender. It frees you up to give thought space to things that you can control. It actually allows you to hold on to more. Here is what I mean by that. Imagine yourself on a sandy beach. Scoop up a big handful of dry, fine sand. Squeeze your hand into a fist. How much sand remains in your hand? Not much. Most of it spills out the sides. Now do it again, but this time leave your hand open like a cup for the sand. You are able to hold more with less effort. This is the art of letting go and being gentle.
You know that by holding on too tight sand will slip through the cracks and your hand will be tired. This same concept applies to our relationships with others as well as with ourselves. When we struggle with someone else because we are trying to get them to change or we feel like blaming them for how we are feeling, we become tense, stressed, and are holding on for dear life. The same is true when we struggle with something about ourselves we wish to change. Here is what you can do instead. Recognize your emotions, surrender the things you cannot control, and work on bringing yourself into a calm state by holding only what you know you can.
In doing this, you create a positive shift for yourself. This has a calming effect on the entire situation and actually gives the other person permission to do the same. This is the most important of all the letting go skills. It requires practice, and it won’t be perfect. Being aware and setting an intention to let go of struggle is the first step. When you find yourself in a challenging situation, remember the sand.
Easy Does It
When we are doing hard things it’s important to be reflective on the wins we experience. Doing this work of letting go is challenging and when we are successful it’s worth acknowledging, even celebrating. So, make sure that you are giving yourself plenty of positive feedback for your hard work. To remember to do this, try the following.
At the end of each day reflect on each aspect of your day; morning, mid-day, and evening. For each aspect of the day, write down at least one thing that you did really well. These can be things that moved you toward a goal, taking a pause instead of reacting, walking away from a struggle, resisting the urge to try and control something you can’t control, etc. Do this practice for several weeks. Doing this daily practice, strengthens the intention to keep going and helps us find the ease in the effort of letting go.
In addition, it is helpful to get into the habit of contributing to a daily gratitude journal. This works on keeping us hopeful. You can read more about how to do this here.
Give Grace and Permission
I will leave you today with one more recommendation. In his book, Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett, Ph.D., talks about the power of emotions and how understanding and growing your emotional intelligence is so important for well-being. Feeding yourself knowledge about how to understand your emotions and even get to the root cause of the emotion is important and another good tool in your letting go skills toolbox.
Reading this book alone does not create lasting change, but it will give you some great nuggets for growth. Most importantly, this book acts as a permission slip to feel all the feelings. Right now, we are all on a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs collectively. Let us be gentle with ourselves and each other and give grace freely.
<3
Stephanie
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