Taking Care Of You Is Most Important
As we look toward the rest of this year, what would you like to focus on? Having an intentional plan for your next steps will ensure that you find success. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed or not, taking steps toward growth in happiness and well-being will serve you in more ways than you know. With the change in the seasons comes a surge in mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and we are already seeing an increase due to the pandemic. Taking care of you is most important.
I’d like to share a little more about me and what I do as an Anthropedia well-being coach. My mission and my passion is to work with women. Together, my clients and I are making great strides toward their own self acceptance and happiness. It’s really fulfilling to walk alongside these women as they experience this growth for themselves. Working with me as a coach can be part of your intentional plan for your mental health and help you realize that taking care of you is most important.
About Me
Professionally, I offer well-being coaching as well as lifestyle coaching for women who are looking to work on self-discovery and self-acceptance and would like to get a boost in the happiness, hope, and mental health department. Like my clients, I have my own story of struggle and growth that helps me to be relatable and empathetic for my clients. I know what it feels like to question my purpose and to feel out of control. And I know what it is like to be in a cycle of quiet shame and self deprecation to the point of exhaustion.
Part of what makes me good at my job is my own life experience. In my own experience, well-being coaching has been truly life changing. The practices I learned and have adopted for myself are a lifeline that I draw on daily that keep me afloat, even during chaos and my life has plenty of chaos! I observe and hear the same from my clients. Not only have my relationships with others improved, but my relationship with myself is more loving and kind.
My Mission
Working with women is a passion of mine. I absolutely love supporting other women who are hungry for more and looking for ways to take care of themselves in healthy ways. As a woman, I know how much it can be ingrained in us to put ourselves last and second guess our need for our own nourishment and growth. I am here to remind you that you matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important.
I am called to do this work by a deep desire to promote positive mental health practices so that we may all find some healing, a renewed sense of hope, and deeper satisfaction with life. I bring compassion, empathy, support, and understanding to the table each time I meet with one of my clients. After every session I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to connect and share in the tremendous growth these women experience. It is truly life changing and affirming.
The Truth
What I know to be true is that if we aren’t intentional about where we are going, we are bound to get lost. If we spend the majority of our time doing what we believe everyone else wants us to do, we lose ourselves in the process. If we don’t take time to really get to know ourselves, we never really fully understand what makes us happy. This is no way to live. I want you to thrive, not just go through the motions.
Taking the time to prioritize getting to know yourself and really understand what drives you is so important. In order to do this, we have to create awareness around our habits, patterns, thoughts, and behaviors. What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? What experiences have you had in your life that left you feeling a sense of lasting satisfaction? These are all questions we ask and begin to answer in our first meeting together.
Growth in well-being and happiness is deep and contemplative work. And it is so worth it.
In her words
Don’t take my word for it. Here are what a few of my clients have to say about their experience working with me.
“Not only is Stephanie adept at coaching, she is also patient, kind, trustworthy, encouraging and fun to work with. I no longer feel like I am treading water; I feel confident that I am on the right path, more aware of myself and my surroundings and have an optimistic, almost giddy, outlook.”
“I can share that I have found wellbeing coaching profoundly impactful and more meaningful than coaching I have done in the past. It has helped my self discovery on a deeper level and given me ways in which to incorporate practices into my day that helps me heal, move forward and sets the stage for a more balanced and happy life. Steph has been a wonderful guide so far.”
“I have found this training to be life changing, It ended up helping me through one of the most difficult periods of my life, and it has resonated into all aspects of my relationship with myself and the people around me. I’m profoundly grateful.”
Looking Forward
I am soaked in gratitude for my clients and the way in which they have embraced themselves and walked with grace on the path forward in these uncertain, troubled times. I so look forward to hearing from you so that we can begin to discover who you are and what makes you happy. What I said earlier bears repeating. You matter, you are so important, and you are worth your own time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And the world needs you mentally and physically healthy and happy. This is why taking care of you is most important. Let’s start today.
<3 Stephanie
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Why Accountability Works
Most people want to please other people. It gives us a sense that not only are you accomplishing something, but someone else cares about what you are doing. This, in a nutshell, is why accountability works. Today we will discuss some ways you can set up accountability in your life and why that is important on your goal setting, action taking plan for well-being.
Before we get started, think about the people in your life that will support your growth. It is important to be aware of who those people are and if they are present in your life. Grab a piece of paper and jot down a few names just to create some awareness around who those people are for you.
Cart Before the Horse
When you are trying to create change around something it is important to not jump willy nilly right into goals and action. First you need to carefully examine the situation as it stands. So, in the case of well-being, we need to first establish your current state. This has to happen so you know what needs work and it is fundamental in why accountability works. To do this, you can do a simple exercise to create more awareness.
In a journal or notebook, make two lists. One list for what things are going really well in your life in terms of your happiness, satisfaction, and well-being. The things on this list should include activities and experiences that put you in a flow state when you engage in them. If you aren’t familiar with what it means to be in flow, consider reading Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book entitled Flow to gain more knowledge. For many of us, this list is sometimes pretty short. That’s ok.
In your second list, write down all the things that make you feel unhappy or out of flow so to speak. These could be things you want to do, but struggle with for whatever reason. Remember that you are making this list not to be judgmental of what is going on in your life, but rather to highlight what area, specifically, you want to work on. Working with a well-being coach helps you with this first step, which is critical. The exercise I am suggesting here is one way for you to get started quickly at home, but if you are seeking to dive deeper into this exploration consider working with a coach.
Now what?
Now that you have your lists made and you can clearly see what is making you happy and unhappy your next step is to consider where to start. Remember that our goal here is to start small and build a strong foundation for creating new habits, practices, and activities that will produce lasting change in your life. This is another really important step in why accountability works.
What are you most motivated to work on in terms of your well-being? What is most pressing? These are questions only you can answer and they are important questions for sure. Before trying to answer these questions, let’s ensure that you are in a calm state of mind first. To do this, sit comfortably and try to relax. Take several deep, slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You can do this with your eyes open or closed. Once you have taken several deep breaths, return to normal breathing and remain still and quiet with your breath for a minute or two.
When you feel calm, you are ready to choose which thing you’d like to focus on. Try not to struggle with this. In your calm state allow yourself to review your list and go with the one you feel most drawn to. Keep it simple.
Let’s set a goal!
You’ve discovered what you want to focus on — now we need to engage on how you are going to work on this. Before we get to the action steps we need a S.M.A.R.T. goal. These goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Again, this is where a coach really comes in handy if you struggle with this. It is ok to need help with goal setting. Good goal setting is paramount in setting up for action and a huge part of why accountability works. If you don’t have a S.M.A.R.T. goal to begin with, action and accountability are pretty useless.
So, in thinking about your focus, brainstorm some ideas. For example, if you would like to set a goal that focuses on calming emotions for well-being, get specific on what that looks like.
Get clear on the purpose
What is the purpose of the goal? In this case, it is to incorporate calming strategies for managing overwhelming negative emotions.
Do some brainstorming
What are specific ways that you can work toward this goal? Perhaps it is developing a daily meditation practice, or doing some calming stretches, or daily self-care habits. Be really specific here.
Make your selections
Which of those things do you want to try? The pitfall here is to bite off more that you can chew. Be realistic about what you are willing to do. You can always add more.
System for measuring
What ways will you measure how things are coming along? Maybe this looks like keeping a daily journal of how you feel before and after the practice you decide to incorporate.
Take action
What, specifically will you do each day to work toward the goal? An example for this would be to decide that you will meditate for 10 minutes each morning when you wake and each evening before bed. Perhaps also journaling about how you are feeling before and after each meditation period.
Set up accountability
This is where that list of names comes in handy. If you are a person who thrives on outside encouragement, external accountability is super important. To do that, you need to enlist some help from a trusted friend or partner. To be clear, this person will not be in charge of doing anything other than cheering you on and providing encouragement to keep going. There is no room for shaming or criticism here. This should be very positive for both of you.
Setting this up is simple. You share your goals and plan for action with this other person. And you establish how you will let them know you have completed your action steps and how often you will communicate this to them. Be specific. For example, if you have decided that you will meditate for 10 minutes twice per day and journal your feelings/state of mind before and after each meditation you will share that goal with your friend. If you want to email or text your friend each day letting them know you accomplished your goals for the day, you establish that. Come to an agreement for a specific start and end date for this goal and then get started. In no time you will begin to see why accountability works! As a bonus, you can act as an accountability partner for your friend. In this case, each of you would reap the benefit of growth as well as participate in the joys that come from seeing someone you care about achieve a goal.
Getting off Course
It happens. Sometimes we get thrown off course. When this happens it is so important to remember that it is ok to reset and start over. Self-criticism does you no good here. Get calm, try to discover what went wrong, and re-establish your goals accordingly. This might have happened because the goal you set was too big for right now, or because something unexpected got thrown at you.
If getting off course is a regular occurrence for you, it may be time for you to enlist some help from a coach. In well-being coaching, we work on the fundamentals of well-being and mental health so that you can discover who you are, what makes you happy, what makes you unhappy, and develop skills for resilience.
Stay the Course
You can do this practice of creating awareness, goal setting, and action in all areas of your life. It is a wonderful feeling to be working toward a goal and having success. I hope this helps you to see why accountability works and also shows you how to hold yourself accountable. Ultimately, you are your own best accountability partner. You can cheer yourself on, as well as empower and support yourself along your journey toward achieving your goals. In doing this, others cannot help but join in the cheering section. You’ve got this!
<3
Stephanie
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My Own Story
Hello! My name is Stephanie and this is my blog. Here I will share about all things related to Well-Being. What it is, why it’s important, how to get more of it, and why it might be lacking. I will share my own story of growth in well-being and what it has meant for my life as well as provide space for others to share their own stories. And perhaps most importantly, I will work hard to build a community of support for you as you navigate your own path to well-being, happiness, and health. My vision is to be among those who are seeking something greater and looking to live with more satisfaction, to shine a light on the path forward and walk alongside them as they come to know themselves better. Everyone’s journey looks a little different and I am honored and humbled to be part of it. Let’s begin with a little background on me.
A Brief History
I have two children, W age 18 and L age 16. Like most mothers raising kids, my life is a balancing act and I am constantly learning, often the hard way, about what not to do. Parenting for me has not been an exercise in real time positive reinforcement — that has come in a delayed fashion. It involves trust that my hard work modeling my own behaviors and my efforts to pour love, kindness, and goodness into them has helped shape them into empathetic, caring people.
So much of my younger parenting days were spent in fight or flight mode largely because one of my children is on the autism spectrum. I dealt with inflexibility and tantrums on a daily basis. It was hard and humbling and often scary. I also dealt with incredible brilliance, creativity, and heart melting sweetness on a daily basis from the same kid. This made me want to be a better human every second of the day. I put my heart into loving both my kids and learning about what resources would be best for both of them. There was a lot of trial and error. Some days we celebrated great success, and some days were a total failure by 9:00am. I needed to learn how to take care of myself emotionally, mentally, and physically if I was going to keep up. More on that later.
Body Love
For me, taking care of my physical body is a no brainer. I discovered early on in my parenting journey that physical exertion gave me the release I needed to keep my temper in check and remain calm during extreme chaos. So I ran, walked, did yoga, martial arts, kickboxing, lifted weights, and eventually I landed on barre3. I also learned early on that in order to put out that much physical exertion I needed to fuel my body well. So, I researched and experimented. I found ways to fuel my body with a lot of fruits and vegetables. Eventually I discovered that I feel best when I don’t eat a lot of gluten, and ultimately I landed on a vegan diet, which I still enjoy today.
This progression happened over about 15 years and I honestly feel better in my body now than I did in my 30’s. Taking care of my body is just one aspect of good health and well-being and I came to realize that in all my working out, sweating, stretching, smoothie making, and salad eating something was missing. I also needed to take care of myself mentally.
Mind Love
I got married when I was 25 years old. My gut knew at the time that it likely wouldn’t work out. I even had a panic attack when I put on my dress. At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on and I chalked it up to “nerves”. I wanted to be married and I wanted to have a family. So I held on tight to the relationship I was in because it was all that I had. Regret is not something I have because my marriage gave me two wonderful children and plenty of lessons about myself. I spent a lot of time trying to conform myself into someone I wasn’t and the relationship was damaging. The details are unnecessary, but I will say that my insides were screaming that this wasn’t a healthy situation and I ignored that voice. For years.
Instead of hearing that inner knowing, I listened to the negative voice inside my head. The one that told me I wasn’t good enough or worthy of the kind of love and relationship I had always dreamed about. That voice was absolutely wrong, but I didn’t have the strength or the skills to know how to silence it and find the truth. This was not good for my health. All the vegetables, fruit, and exercise in the world can’t fix that. In order to handle that I had to take a look at the hard, harsh reality of my life choices. And I had to learn to do it without condemning myself.
That was really hard. I read books, I went to seminars about mindset, I listened to podcasts, I went to Al-Anon, and I went to therapy. Eventually I found the strength to love myself enough to move on from my marriage and create a life for myself that included self love and self respect. I did it for me as much as I did it for my family. No one in our family was happy, and we all deserved better.
Soul Love
Throughout my time where I was working on my mindset I kept hearing about a Well-Being coach training through Anthropedia that sounded interesting. For several years I kept emailing back and forth with the director and could never quite commit. I wanted to experience the personal renaissance they were talking about. Hadn’t I already experienced something like that? Perhaps, but I also knew there was more to be done. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Here I was living alone for the first time in 20 years. I had good habits around eating and taking care of my body. To help with mindset, I was journaling everyday and continuing to focus on positivity. I had also dipped my toe in the water of meditation, starting small at first and working my way into larger blocks of time.
What meditation did for my anxiety was incredible. I noticed that when I gave myself over to being still, I could actually hear myself clearly. I believe that is what led me to finally sink myself into the year long course in Well-Being and what gave me the push to become a coach. It was a culmination of years of searching for something greater than myself and born out of my lifelong desire to be of service to others.
New Beginnings
During my period of self discovery, living alone, I was working on loving myself and being my own best companion. I watched a lot of movies and wrote a lot of songs. I worked on being ok with silence in my normally busy home during those periods of time my kids were away at their Dad’s. Those were lonely, hard moments sometimes.
One night I mustered up some bravery to drive to the city alone to hear some music. I knew I would know people once I got there, but the act of going alone was a big deal for me. Somehow, the person I have been looking for my whole life was there too. We talked, he asked me out on a date, and he has been my best friend, partner, companion, and love ever since. Together we have 4 children and my life truly feels complete. I recognize that the love I have now is the love my soul told me I could have so long ago. I needed to have faith in that truth before I could find it. The work I have done on myself and my own growth in well-being has made me a better partner to Josh, a better mom to our kids, a better friend, daughter, sister, and aunt.
Knowing Myself
I continue to get to know myself better everyday. I have not reached the peak of well-being — no one living has. We keep climbing one step at a time, learning and growing as we climb. After many, many years of searching I have finally found something that combines all of my skills that I have collected throughout my life. Including my love for serving others and my passion to make a difference and do meaningful work. I hope that by sharing my own story of growth in well-being in my life, you are inspired to take the first or another step into your own story.
Everyone’s path to well-being is unique and the Anthropedia method of coaching may be a good fit for you. If you would like to learn more about how coaching can help you, I invite you to complete the contact form here and have a pre-session with me. During that session we will get to know each other better, talk specifically about the services I offer, and how they might help improve your overall well-being.
I couldn’t be more excited to walk alongside you.
<3,
Stephanie
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